Hope you don't mind this whimsical way of letting you all know that I've seen the film at last, and can't wait to share my thoughts with you. It will take awhile for me to put them in order, however, so I thought a little interview with Boromir might pass the time...though perhaps it might not have been such a good idea after all!
Linaewen: So, Boromir, now that we've seen TTT, what did you think?
Boromir: I think I was cut out.
Linaewen: (sighing heavily) Yes, I know, and I am really sorry about that.
Boromir: I was afraid it might happen. It is unfortunate; the tale would have been better if my part had remained, though I say so myself.
Linaewen: (laughing) Well, I agree with that, of course! But we would naturally think that, wouldn't we? Remember, there was a lot of story to tell in a limited time, and cuts had to be made.
Boromir: I can think of some other parts that might have served better...
Linaewen: (hurriedly) Now, now, let's not get too specific just yet. You were in the film for a moment, remember.
Boromir: True. That was unexpected. Not a bad part...saving Frodo. I am pleased that they would show me saving Frodo.
Linaewen: Yes, that was a good scene, one of my favorites.
Boromir: I did my best to look after Frodo, you know.
Linaewen: (soothingly) I know.
Boromir: I had no intention of killing him. I was just... well, you know.
Linaewen: Yes, I know. But Sam wouldn't see it that way, would he?
Boromir: No, I suppose not.
Linaewen: (trying to change the subject) So what did you like about the film?
Linaewen: Oh? Why did you like him?
Boromir: He is my brother, of course! Why would I not like him? (pauses thoughtfully) It was good to see him again.
Linaewen: Of course.
Boromir: (pacing) I wish I had been there to help him, he was so distracted! Gondor weak...caught in the middle...reinforcements needed...too many things happening at once...(stops suddenly and clears his throat) I have changed my mind, I did not like that part after all.
Linaewen: Why not?
Boromir: I did not want to see him that way, so sad, so uncertain. He was sad because of me.
Linaewen: Yes, you could tell he missed you very much. (clears her throat and surreptitiously wipes her nose with a tissue) Uh...right...anything else you liked?
Boromir: (cheering up immediately) The fight!
Linaewen: Which one?
Boromir: (surprised) Why, all of them, of course! I wish I could have been there, I would have showed those wargs a thing or two!
**Linaewen is relieved that she has distracted Boromir from his sad thoughts about his brother, but she looks worried as he lays his hand on his sword.**
Boromir: And those Uruk-hai! (starts to draw his sword) I would have...
Linaewen: (quickly interrupting) No sword drawing in the house! (Boromir slowly sheathes his sword) Why don't you tell me something you did NOT like about the film...aside from Faramir, that is?
Boromir: Grima Wormtongue, that slimy wretch! I have said this before, but I do regret very much that I did not kick him when I had the chance. I could have showed him a thing or two...
**Boromir lays his hand on his sword. Linaewen grabs him and pushes him towards the door.**
Linaewen: Yes, good! Why don't you go outside and practice what you would do to Wormtongue, while I try to write down my thoughts on the film?
Boromir: Good plan. Do not forget to mention that I was cut out.
Linaewen: I will certainly mention it, I am certain everyone noticed.
Boromir: And say something nice about Faramir.
Linaewen: Yes, of course, you know I will. I do like him, you know.
Boromir: Of course you do, he is my brother. He even looks a bit like me. (heads for the door, then turns back) And do not forget to tell them what a villainous traitor Wormtongue is, he should never have spoken to my friend Eomer that way! If I ever get my hands on him...
Boromir strides out the door and Linaewen closes it behind him, mopping her brow in relief. She goes to her desk and gets her pen and notepad and starts to right her review.