20 March 2006 Where does the time go? I think I may stick to 13 miles on my short trips, for a few weeks, and simply increase the physical therapy, very slightly. Itís cold again, but they say that summer is going to come earlier this year, so Iíll not complain, much.
21 March 2006 Iím going to try going to bed earlier and getting up earlier. MissB is getting into the habit of waking up at 5:15 every morning. Itís frustrating knowing I canít really go back to sleep but for another 30 minutes. So, I might as well get up and get moving, and simply turn in a little earlier at night. Maybe Iíll sleep better.
22 March 2006 Welcome to March. There was frost on the ground this morning, and itís supposed to be in the 80s in a few days. As I biked this morning, I planned to start my journal entry extolling the benefits of a good eight hours of sleep a night, which did help, I admit. However, when I got home, I discovered my period had started. So much is explained, the bouts of tears, the mood swings, the binging, the feeling like Iím going out of my mind. LOL! Starting the day earlier did help, a lot. Especially since I had time to read the devotional book sent to me ďGrace for the Moment.Ē Yesterdayís entry was about prayer and God hearing and answering. Last night, I felt very alone and forsaken. This morning, the devotional was about Christ being the light in the storm, but we must look for Him. This I understood, and could accept, peacefully.
23 March 2006 Iím going to sleep with Josh Grobanís Closer and now Iím waking with it as well. Itís a lot easier on the nerves than that silly alarm clock! Iíve got the alarm clock set for a little later, just in case I sleep through Josh; not likely! Iím liking the more relaxed start to the morning, even though it is earlier and definitely requires a much earlier bedtime. Biking today, I again found myself wondering how I do it. Yes, I have to do it a half mile at a time sometimes, but Iím still amazed. I had no idea my body could do this kind of thing. :-)
24 March 2006 Iíve finally finished Viktor Franklís book ďManís Search for Meaning.Ē Iíve found it enlightening and inspiring. Itís interesting that he says ďTo the European, it is a characteristic of the American culture that, again and again, one is commanded and ordered to Ďbe happy.í But happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue. One must have a reason to Ďbe happy.í Once the reason is found, however, one becomes happy automatically. As we see, a human being is not one in pursuit of happiness but rather in search of a reason to become happy, last but not least, through actualizing the potential meaning inherent and dormant in a given situation... Once an individualís search for meaning is successful, it not only renders him happy but also gives him the capacity to cope with suffering.Ē This has helped me wrap my mind around the idea of becoming someone new and the gradual realization that she isnít so much new as simply undiscovered. Itís taken me a long time, but I am finally discovering myself and some things remain the same, but many things have changed, for the better. And I hope to continue changing... growing and learning and becoming...
25 March 2006 Biked 90 miles this week. Today was easy, only biked seven miles, and tweaked my physical therapy, adding another repetition with the one-pound weights. I think Iíll stick with the 13 miles on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for another week at least. Iíve got to get my stamina up. Today is the anniversary of Frodo reaching Mt. Doom and the Ring being destroyed. I decided to work on my taxes; it somehow seemed appropriate. LOL!
26 March 2006 MissB woke me at 530am to go outside; no surprise there. She does like her routines. Then I went back to bed and slept until 915am. That was a surprise, and one Iím grateful for. I needed the sleep. My head is a bit stuffy, probably all the wonderful smelling things in bloom. :-) Iíve now got MissB on the recommended dose of Rimadyl, so thereís not much more I can do for her to help her feel more comfortable. Weíll continue to take one day at a time, as it comes, and trust to Godís Mercy.