26 June 2006 Iím tired beyond words.. It would help if I ate better.
27 June 2006 How does a person get so tired? Iím frustrated beyond words. Iíve gained five pounds in the last week. I would feel ever so much better if I just ate right and slept better. I wasnít able to bike today, as I had a very flat tire. It was quite odd really, as if someone had let the air out because I pumped it up again and it seems fine now. Iím waiting to see though. I didnít want to take the chance of being stranded between home and work. Weíll see what happens tomorrow. If thereís still a problem, Iíll get the tired fixed. I need to do a full-service on the bike, but it isnít in the budget until next month. I need to keep better track of when I need to replace tires, so Iím not caught by surprise. I hate these kinds of surprises. I did sleep a little better last night, but it seems worse because I feel the weariness more now. One day at a time. It is all Iím asked to tackle. Iíve been re-reading and re-reading the ďPerfectĒ trilogy by Anne Gracie. It simply touches a chord deep within me. I tell myself Iím only going to read my favorite parts, and then next thing I know Iíve read them almost cover to cover, again. I have a bit of a headache today. Amazing! One good meal and I feel considerably better. My notice of the TNT meeting came in the mail today. Iíll talk to my sister about which meeting we can attend and then send my RSVP. Iím trying not to think about the fact that itís really happening.
28 June 2006 FlyLady declares Wednesday anti-procrastination day, so I took my bike into Bicycle Wheelers for a tune-up. The gentleman who helped me was very nice, soft spoken, and cute. LOL! It will be done by 5pm tonight. YAY!! Itís overdue by two months, and now itís being done. Dad suggested I could walk down at 5pm and pick up the bike on my own, and bless the young man helping me who immediately questioned the wisdom of that considering the heat. He doesnít even know me, and is worried for me. I like this place much better than where I got my bike, so Iíve got a new bike shop. :-) Wow! My bike is nice and clean with a new back tire and advice to get a new front one in the next few hundred miles, budget permitting. Another anti-procrastination: I took care of a renewal that was due next month. Now I donít have to think about it any more; itís all done until next year.
29 June 2006 Today was a ďflingĒ in the pantry day. I decided to give it a go. I got rid of several mixes that have been sitting there for more than two years. I also took all my little crackers that are in packages of six and popped them in baggies. Sometimes, I only want one or two, but if there are six there, then Iíll eat them all. With them all in the baggies, itís easier for me to just take the few I want and leave the rest for another time. I get to see Kevin tonight.
30 June 2006 Kevin was exactly what I needed. He is always amazed by my overdeveloped sense of responsibility. Heís assigned me the task of watching the movie ďBreaking Up.Ē I laughed when he admitted he hated it, but it would help me gain some perspective on relationships. Heís also assigned me the task of reading a book called ďHow to Hug a Porcupine.Ē My sister has read it and loved it. Iím looking forward to it. I mentioned that I once felt like a porcupine but have decided Iím a hedgehog, not nearly as prickly. He raised his brows and almost under his breath, intending that I hear, said that I wasnít prickly at all. He complimented my self-assurance and wants me to learn to believe in myself and not allow doubt or fears to undermine my choices and decisions and what I feel is right for me.
1 July 2006 I finally figured out something that Kevin said. I had told him that my dad and I were talking about something screwy my mom had done, and I wanted Kevinís feedback. My dad has said, ďShe tries, really. You gotta love her.Ē And my thought had been ĎNo I donít.í Kevin smiled broadly. ďYouíre learning boundaries.Ē I didnít get it at the time. Then today I realized that what he meant is that *I* decide who I like and who I donít. I decide what matters to me and what does. I decide. Me. Nobody else. Me. Cool. Yesterday, by phone, I RSVPed to the TNT meeting; however, I got an answering machine, so I think Iíll send in the card too. I canít believe Iím doing this. I slept better last night than I have in years. This morning I made some body oil. My hands especially love it. Iíve actually got some lovely, strong nails growing! LOL!
2 July 2006 Today, I divided the carrots I purchased yesterday into individual serving size baggies. I have to get this weight off. I discovered some Ďhiddení corn syrup in Sunny D and my strawberry milk. Iíll replace the Sunny D with Tropicana orange juice (since it comes in individual servings) and use strawberry milk as an occasional treat only. Iím a bit tired today, but feeling... I was going to say better but thatís not what Iím actually thinking. I feel different. My sister and I went shopping yesterday afternoon for a few necessities but also had a little fun. She bought me some pretty dangly earrings and stretchy anklets. Today, I pulled out my old jewelry boxes. Some of the pieces are quite pretty. Iíd forgotten how much I like the tiny jingle of my charm bracelet. The anklets are too tight, so I took two and restrung them on some thread. I like the feeling of it on my ankle. It makes me feel feminine and pretty. When was the last time I felt like that? I like it.