21 August 2006 Iím settling into a daily 12-mile routine Monday-Friday, then walking on Saturday. Mon-Fri also includes a short walk, around the corner, and physical therapy. Sat includes physical therapy. Iím tired all the time, but I think thatís almost a normal state with me, probably has to do with adrenal exhaustion. I still miss MissB; not unexpected, I know. Iím glad Iíve got today off. Well, considering I worked Sat, this is really more like when I worked in Yellowstone and my scheduled days off were Sunday and Monday. Iíll work on getting more water down today. My ears are ringing more than usual today; itís annoying. I can feel the summer weather shifting into fall. This morning was a little cooler. What a blessing.
22 August 2006 It stormed last night and again this morning. I was allowed to take the car to pick up work, which is helpful, and yet, my parents have once again turned up the thermostat, even though I have repeatedly told them that I prefer it cooler. They can put on sweaters, but I canít take clothes off. What tears at my heart is that they willingly kept the house cooler for MissB, but they flatly refuse to do it for me. Itís time to follow Kevinís advice and mourn the parents and family I donít have and will never have.
23 August 2006 It has occurred to me that I have been mourning for most of my life. I need to ask Kevin how do I finally move on?! I miss my baby dog. I found pictures of her from several years back. It was a little surprising to see how black her whole face used to be and I could feel she wasnít in any pain in those pictures... She was so brave, for so long. I biked 12 miles today, did my physical therapy and walked about 2 miles throughout the day. Iím eating better. I just hope I can stick with it. One day at a time.
24 August 2006 Only got a four-mile bike ride in today before I heard the thunder. The storm was quite spectacular.
25 August 2006 Biked 13 miles today and walked 2 miles as well as my physical therapy. My sister is thinking about doing the Walk for the Cure event in October and asked me to join her. I have to get myself in shape.
26 August 2006 Ruth and I walked two miles today and did it in pretty good time without wearing ourselves out too much. I also asked her to show me her callanetics. I think theyíll be a good addition to my physical therapy as they are strength builders and toners in small movements. Ruth has decided she wants to participate in the Komen Walk for the Cure, and Iím joining her. We signed up with team ASU Gold this morning. When she went to Borderís this afternoon she discovered a book signing with the author of ďWrite. 10 Days to Overcome Writerís block. Period.Ē Sheís letting me read it first. Iím looking forward to it. My lawyer dropped off work so I did that this evening. This way Iíll have Sunday and Monday off, just like my work schedule in Yellowstone.
27 August 2006 Today, I sent an email to my core group, letting them know of my plans to participate in the breast cancer event in October, with my sister. Iíve come to the decision that I can be whoever and whatever I want to be, but what do I want? So Iím exploring. Weíll see where this new adventure takes me. I know I want to write, but what more?